Marigold Events – Indian Wedding Inspirations

Hello Lovely Ladies! Wedding Wednesdays just got more interesting on Marigold Events. We get many questions from brides asking for wedding advice. We will be selecting and answering “Question of the week” every Wednesday on Marigold Events. Ask your question by filling out our contact form on the right.

Q. I am having a small Sikh-American wedding in California. My fiance and I are planning our wedding on a budget and want to keep things simple but beautiful. How can I get Indian outfits in the US without spending an exorbitant amount of money? How should I go about selecting a venue? How can I save money on decor? What do most people do with their centerpieces after their wedding? I have looked at different Indian Wedding Invitation websites – is there a catch to them?

A. Dear Bride-to-be: Congratulations on your engagement! Here are some recommendations on how you can have a simple, and elegant wedding within your budget:

Look for Indian Outfits and Jewelry Online

Making a special trip to India or Indian Clothing and Jewelry Stores in the US for wedding shopping does require a higher budget. There are many Indian clothing and jewelry websites which can assist you here.

Here are some reasonably priced websites to order lehengas, sarees and beautiful Indian costume jewelry from*:

Home India: Bridalwear
Your Designer Wear
Utsav Sarees: Lehenga Section
Utsav Sarees: Jewelry Section

*Please note that Marigold Events is not affiliated with any of these websites.

Venue Selection: Questions to ask

When doing your venue research, it is important to check the following with the venue:

1. Do they allow outside/Indian catering?
Tip: Sometimes venues, like hotels, have Indian catering packages. Ask for them.
2. Can you have an outside decorator? Any special permission needed to install a mandap or for lighting a fire?
3. Does the venue rental cost include event rentals, such as tables, chairs, linen, china, glassware, flatware etc.?
Tip: Event rentals’ costs add up very quickly and will definitely increase your per person cost.
4. Can you bring your own liquor? Will you need a liquor license?
Tip: If your venue does not have arrangements to serve alcohol, and they allow outside alcohol, you can save money on liquor because you pay for what you use. You can always return the unopened bottles and it is not a fixed per person cost. Make sure that your venue does not charge corkage or bottle opening fee.
5. Will you need event insurance?
6. Which vendors will need permits and insurance?
7. Check with the venue if they will provide complimentary cake, centerpieces, votives, champagne toast etc.
Tip: Ask your venue if they will charge a cake-cutting fee.
8. How many hours will you get your venue for? Will that be enough time to do set up and breakdown?
9. If it is an outdoor venue, you should ask about a rain location.

When doing your venue research, it is important to keep the above questions in mind. Do your budget and cost calculations based on the answers you get.

Decor and Centerpieces on a Budget

If you want to save money on decor and centerpieces, I would suggest that you go for a venue that provides complimentary centerpieces and votives. You can also look into DIY Decor projects. For DIY centerpieces, I would suggest buying flowers from the whole flower stores to save money. Every big city has a wholesale flower market.

You can reuse some of your wedding decor for your reception as well. At the end of your reception, you can ask your florist to wrap your flowers for your guests to take away. Usually the rentals are taken back by the decorator. For example, if they used a big vase in the centerpiece, they will take it back.

Here is a list of Indian Wedding decor items.

Invitations: Online and DIY

The catch to the online wedding invitations is the shipping cost, which ends up being as much as the invitations. Here are some tips to remember when selecting and ordering your wedding invitations.

If you want to save money on your invitations, you can design your own. Here is DIY tutorial for making your own wedding invitations.

When planning a wedding on a budget, it is very important to stay organized and be on top of your budget. Before I sign off, here are two references for you: Indian Wedding Planning Checklist and Indian Wedding Budget. Good Luck with the planning process!

Congratulations to Shaily, our Holiday Season Giveaway Winner!

Comment #8 (by Shaily) was randomly selected as the winning post:

“Welcome back, Neha! Can’t wait to read about your trip 
and finds!
I highly recommend the bride and groom think about the little aspects of their wedding and how they can incorporate their personalities into it.
My favorite things at our wedding were the things that truly represented us and our off-beat nature: our sock monkey picture book instead of a traditional guest book and our personalized wooden cake topper people custom painted to loosely resemble us.”

Shaily – Congratulations! What a great tip! Definitely a great way to add personality and personal touch to your wedding. Hope you will enjoy treasuring your memories in this picture frame.

Holding this giveaway was so much fun!

To all my giveaway participants - I, and am sure our readers, really enjoyed reading your creative tips for planning an Indian Wedding.

Shreya – I agree with you how contrasting colors can add pazazz to a wedding.

Jessi – During weddings, emotions run high and things can get overwhelming. I agree that friends and family come through during these pressing times and one should always ask for help.

Sweta – Mehendi is such a girlie event and I agree with you that chudi, payal and scarf stalls, or even when given as favors, would be a big hit!

Komal – I totally agree with you. A live fortune teller would definitely be a hit at Indian Weddings! It would definitely become a topic of conversation at the party.

Dharma – I loved both of your tips! Again, coming back to personal touch and adding your own personality really makes a wedding special.

Shilpa – Karaoke Mehendi night sounds like a blast! Would love to see that at a Mehendi Event.

Thanks again for participating in the giveaway! We hope to hold many more giveaways in the future.

Planning an Indian Wedding just got easier! When I was planning my wedding, I hunted and hunted for a wedding planning website for South Asians. I was looking for a resource, where the wedding planning tools and forums were customized for Indian brides. Well guess what – now that resource is here. It’s called Indian American Weddings, and has been launched by Neha, owner of Marigold Events & Launching Frog (that’s me!) and Payal, owner of Intell Marketing.

Indian American Weddings began as a vision aspiring to make an Indian Bride’s wedding planning experience easy and enjoyable. The inspiration and ideas have stemmed from Payal and my personal experiences, when we were planning our own weddings and discovered a lack of planning resources for Indian Weddings in the US. We envision brides benefiting from a social network that would enable them to share thoughts and ideas with each other and communicate interactively with vendors.

Indian American Weddings is a unique wedding planning community for engaged couples and their families. It is the first interactive site to enable brides to network with other brides and vendors all over the country. It is, in essence, a virtual wedding expo, where brides can virtually see vendors’ products and services, communicate with them, and network with other brides – all without shelling the expenses of travel or time to a wedding expo.

In addition to the social networking aspect, the website offers to brides and couples all the tools and resources needed to help design, organize and plan the perfect unique Indian Wedding. The word “Indian” is the key – not only do we help you customize your planning to include all the Indian glamor and nuances of an Indian wedding ceremony, but we can also help you customize any other Indian event you may want to include like Engagement Party, Mehendi, Sangeet, etc.

Website’s Highlights for brides:

• Your Personal Profile Page with Photogallery: Create a detailed personalized profile of yourself and your upcoming wedding. Upload photos, and write about yourself. The wedding planning tools are linked to your profile. Your wedding planning research can be accessed by you through your username and secure password from any computer.
• Planning Checklist: Manage your wedding planning tasks and track the important details so you don’t miss a single step.
• Create your Budget: Set up your wedding budget and track all your spending to keep your wedding expenses in line.
• Create your Guestlist: It’s a Guest Database! Manage Guests, input their addresses, track Guest info (invitations, RSVPs, gifts, seating, thank you’s) – all with our Guest List Manager.
• Appointment Book: A handy tool to record all your appointments and reminders so you are perfectly scheduled for each day of your wedding planning
• Create Events and Invitations: Send out your save the dates for each of your wedding events with a click of the button and manage the RSVP’s from here.
• Planning Calendar: Your wedding planning is a calendar view and organizes all your appointments, upcoming events and due checklist items in one place.
• Research Binder: Your Wedding Planning Notebook where you can save notes, links, images of products and services you are considering but haven’t yet finalized.
• Guestbook: Post on your buddies’ walls and keep them up to date with your wedding planning. Post on a vendors wall to make inquiries or contacts.
• Get advice from other brides on the forum: Network with other brides, share tips and ideas, post questions. It’s amazing how much you can learn and share with others just like you.
• Add buddies: Friend other members of the site and them to your buddylist. See where other brides are in their planning process. Look at the profiles of your bride and vendor friends, check out their photogallery and write on their guestbooks.

There is a plethora of Indian vendors offering products and services to meet the Indian wedding market needs, however, they have always competed with families traveling to India to fulfill these needs. To these vendors, we offer a revolutionary new channel to market their products and services to a targeted customer base and form affiliations with other vendors in the business.

Website’s Highlights for Vendors:

• Free Business Page and Listing: Design your personalized business page highlighting your products & services and offering exclusive promotions and sales.
• Guestbook: Post on your buddies’ walls and keep them up to date with your services.
• Photogallery: A picture is worth a thousand words. Showcase your products and services with a collection of photos and images.
• Appointment Book: A handy calendar with customer appointments and reminders so you are perfectly scheduled for each day.
• Planning Calendar: View all your appointments in a calendar view.
• Manage Clients: A client database that manages client names, profiles, addresses, interests.
• Interact with other brides on forum: An Online vendor expo – interact with brides interested in your products and services. Make customer contact online!

The website has been beta launched, and we would really appreciate your feedback!

While you want your wedding shoes to be gorgeous, you also have to be practical. You will be wearing them for a really long time and you have to make sure that they are comfortable. Jewels on wedding shoes look gorgeous, and you can achieve a good combination of gorgeous and comfort. If you want comfort, then you can go for shoes which have jewels on the center or side, as opposed to all over. There are many options to choose from. Here are some inspiration boards which can spark some ideas when selecting the perfect pair of shoes for your wedding day.

Weddings are all about details. The more attention you pay to these details, the more things will run smoothly. These days, a wedding website is an important detail which you can’t afford to miss. It makes wedding planning easier for you, as well as makes things convenient for your guests. Typically, the link to your wedding website will be shared on your Save-the-Dates and/or formal wedding invitation.

So what should a wedding website be like? What information should it include? You might want to pick colors for your wedding website close to your wedding colors. Here is a list of things which you could include in your wedding website:

1. “How we met”: A lot of couples have a section about how the couple got together. Usually, it would have a separate versions by the bride and the groom. This can be brief and does not have to include a lot of personal detail.
2. “The Proposal”: In this the bride usually talks about he proposed. Again, personal details can be kept to minimum.
3. Wedding Details: Information about all the wedding functions, different venues, maps and directions.
4. RSVP: On your wedding website, you could have an option for your guests to RSVP. This is very convenient for the guests and also lets you know instantly who all will be attending.
5. Gift Registry: A link to your gift registry and information on where to ship the gifts is appropriate to put on the wedding website.
6. Photos: Some couples like to put pictures of themselves, typically engagement portraits, on their wedding website.
7. Guestbook: Often times, couples will have a guestbook for their guests to sign and send them good wishes.

The next question that you may have: How do I go about creating a wedding website? You do not have to be a computer nerd to create a wedding website. You could create it from scratch if you wanted, but these days there are a number of websites which provide free wedding website templates to start from. You just have to plug in information and your wedding website will be ready to go. We will list features of some of the free websites that allow you to create your wedding website:

1. eWedding:
   • Photo Albums
   • Audio and Video
   • Unlimited Events
   • RSVP Management
   • Polls and Quizzes
   • Email Lists
   • Intro Music
   • Password Protection
   • Unlimited Updates
   • Unlimited Support
   • Available for free for one year
   
2. Wedding Wire:
   • Custom URL
   • Unlimited Pages
   • Apps
   • Designer Templates
   • Flash Intros
   • Music
   • Online RSVP
   • Gift Registy
   • 100 MB of storage
   • Audio and Video
   • Photo Albums
   
3. The Knot:
   • Personal web address on TheKnot.com
   • Unique designs
   • Tell your story
   • Share your gift registry
   • Upload photos
   
4. First Phera: This is a website specifically for Indian Weddings
   • Indian Website Designs
   • User Friendly Interface
   • Share Photos and Videos
   • Manage RSVP
   • Customizable Designs
   • Personal Domain Name
   • Password Protection
   
   

There are two ways to go about gifting in an Indian Wedding:

1. Bridal Registry
2. Cash

What is the proper etiquette to state your gift preference? How do you go about registering for gifts? What do you register for? Here is the scoop on gifting in Indian Weddings.

Proper Etiquette

I can’t stress this enough, but never mention your gift registry or preference for cash on the formal wedding invitation. It is in bad taste as you are requesting gifts as you should not assume that a guest will bring a gift. The gift/registry details should be reserved only for your wedding website. You can definitely include your wedding website URL on an insert with your invitation.

Let us talk about a new trend seen in South Asian Weddings. These days many couples mention on their invitations, “No boxed gifts”. This can be very confusing for your guests, especially who are not familiar with this terminology, as it is typically mentioned only in Indian Weddings. People may think that you might not want wrapped gifts, or may consider it downright rude to ask for cash. If you want to ask for cash, be more tactful and you can say something like this on your wedding website (again not on the invitation!!!):

“We have not chosen to have a bridal registry as we are unsure where we will settle and are trying to keep our moving expenses to a minimum.”

This way you don’t asking your guests that they bring a gift, but at the same time get the message across to those who intend to bring one. For more information on this topic, please see the forum discussion on Wedding Bee.

Registering for Gifts

There are many advantages of registering for gifts:

1. You get exactly what you want.
2. You can use all the gifts to set up your new house.
3. Reduces duplication of gifts.
4. Your gifts are directly shipped to you on the shipping address specified by you.
5. Guests have an easier time choosing a gift that you will treasure.
6. Saves time, as your guests would not have to venture from store to store to look for a gift for you.
7. If a guest can’t make it to the wedding, they still have the ability to send a gift.

There are two ways to go about creating your bridal registry:

1. At the stores, where you have to physically go to a store, scan a gift and add to your registry: Many couples choose stores like Macy’s, Crate&Barrell, Bed Bath and Beyond, Target etc. for the wedding registries. The advantage here is that you get to see what the item you are trying to add to your registry looks like. At the same time, for couples it can be a bonding experience as they look for things for their new home. However, one drawback can be that the item you are selecting at the chosen store might be priced higher than other places. Also, going to store to store can be a frustrating experience. Moreover, you are limited to a few stores.
2. Creating an Online Registry: Another option is doing an online gift registry, where you find a website where you can add items from any website. You are not limited to certain stores and don’t have to go to store to store to select items to put on the registry . This is also great, as you can find the best deals online and save your guests some money. Couples are less likely to get into a public argument on what to add to a registry too. Some good websites for doing so are:

• MyRegistry.com – Also has Cash Gift Service option.
• HoneymoonWishes.com

What to Register For

So here is a comprehensive list of things to register for (Adapted from The Knot):

1. Decor
   • Vases (Floor, Tabletop)
   • Picture Frames
   • Artwork for Walls
   • Bar Cart
   • Wall Mirrors
   • Couch
   • Ottomons
   • Throw Blankets
   • Chandeliers
   • Lamps
   • TV
   • Patio Furniture
2. Glassware
   • Double Old-Fashioned Glasses
   • Juice Glasses
   • Wineglasses (For Red and White Wines)
   • Water Goblets
   • Champage Flutes
   • Margarita Glasses
   • Martini Glasses
   • Ice Bucket
   • Coffee Mugs
   • Carafe
   • Coasters
3. Bar
   • Cocktail Shaker
   • Seven-Piece Bar Tool Set
   • Wine Fridge
   • Wine Cabinet
4. Dinnerware
   • Napkin Holders
   • Place Mats
   • Table Cloths
   • Table Runners
   • Cloth Napkins
   • Gravy Boat/ Stand
   • Salt and Pepper Shaker Set
   • Serving Bowls
   • Serving Platters
   • Sugar and Creamer Set
   • Salad Bowl and Servers Set
   • Formal Place Settings
   • Casual Place Settings
   • Chargers
   • Tea Kettle
   • Soup Tureen and Ladle
   • Butter Dish
   • Cake Stand
5. Kitchen
   • Ice Cream Scoop
   • Salad Spinner
   • Canister Set
   • Tongs
   • Mixing Bowls Set
   • Measure Cup Set
   • Measuring Spoon Set
   • Oven Mitts
   • Cookware Set
   • Broiler Pan
   • Bakeware Set
   • Basting Brushes
   • Can Opener
   • Garlic Press
   • Cheese Grater
   • Veggie Peeler
   • Knives Set
   • Citrus Zester
   • Blender
   • Food Processer
   • Hand Mixer
   • Stand Mixer
   • Slow Cooker
   • Coffee Maker
   • Toaster
   • Roasting Pan
   • Cutting Board
   • Rice Cooker
   • Deep Fryer
   • Waffle Maker
6. Flatware
   • Formal Silver 5-piece Flatware Set
   • Everyday Stainless Steel 5-piece Flatware Set
7. Bedding
   • Flat Sheets
   • Fitted Sheets
   • Duvet Covers
   • Comforter Set
   • Mattress Pad
   • Bed Blanket
   • Standard Pillows
   • Pillow Case Set
   • Pillow Shams
   • Bed Skirt
8. Travel
   • Suitcase
   • Carry on
   • Garmet Bag
   • Travel Totes
   • Toiletry Kit
   • Digital Camera
   • Wheeled Cooler
9. Home Essentials
   • Hamper
   • Vaccum
   • Iron
   • Ironing Board
10. Bathware
    • Soap Dispenser
    • Toothbrush Holder
    • Lotion Dispenser
    • Tissue Holder
    • Bathrobes
    • Bath Towels
    • Hand Towels
    • Washcloths
    • Bath Mat
    • Tub Mat
    • Shower Curtain
    • Scale
    • Hair Dryer
    • Showerhead

There are variety of themes that can be used for Indian Wedding. You should choose one that best suits your personality and style. Also consider your audience and what is most likely to click. Discuss the various options with your fiance and decide jointly.

We will go through traditional, typical Indian and romantic themes to add a flair to your wedding. These themes can be applied to your decor, stationary, cake, mehendi…the possibilities are endless!

1. Peacock Theme: This would be a traditional theme and would typically apply to your decor, stationary, outfits, mehendi, cake, place settings and even overlays! Turquoises, Purples/Fuschias, Browns with splashes of green would go best with this theme. Peacock feathers, orchids, and crystal strings are what you definitely need.
   

   Image Courtesy: hellobellaevents.blogspot.com, and iStockPhoto.com

2. Bollywood Theme: For bollywood theme, think of your favorite romantic Hindi movies. You can choose from many a Yash Chopra and Karan Johar movies. For decor, you could get posters of romantic Bollywood movies and put them on the walls of your reception venue (make sure you use good scotch tape, which won’t leave marks on the walls!). You could also name the tables after those movies and the table name/number that is placed on the table could be a postcard with an image from that movie. The place cards could be tickets to those movies with the name of the guest and the movie name on it. You could even incorporate bollywood in your outfits, where you could dress up as a famous Bollywood couple. Your first dance could be to your favorite romantic bollywood tune. The possibilities are endless! Colorful hues, like reds, oranges, fuschias, sequins, and brocade borders would go best with this theme.
3. “Our first Dates” Theme: This would be a very romantic and personal theme and perfect for couples who have dated. You would start with compiling a list of your first dates: It could be restaurants, coffee shops, sporting events, movies etc. You could name the tables after your dating spots and the place cards could be designed as receipts from the restuarants/ coffee shops, tickets to sporting events/movies etc. Table number that is placed on the table could be a picture of you both with the name of the date spot. I think black and white pics with sepia tones look just fantastic! You could incorporate the sepia tones in your decor, and linen as well. This is something very personal for some people, and the theme should be used only if you are comfortable sharing it with your guests.

So which one is your favorite theme? What other themes can you guys think of?

Music and Entertainment are indispensable from Indian Weddings. But how do you set the tone for a wedding event with music? Bollywood movies are full of great songs for weddings. It’s always good to be prepared and have a playlist ready for your wedding functions. Here I am going to discuss the events you need music and entertainment for and how to go about selecting it.

• Mehendi: The “Mehendi” function is a very fun and festive ceremony. Music, when selected appropriately, can add a great ambience to this function. If you choose to do the music for your mehendi yourself, you can make an iPod, iTunes or a Winamp playlist of your favorite mehendi songs to play. Alternatively, if you are having a DJ, you can hand over your list to them. If you can find someone who can play a dholak and sing folk songs, then that can add a very festive mood to this function. Here is a list of few songs to get you brainstorming:
  • Mehendi Laga Ke Rakhna (Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge)
  • Mehendi Hai Rachne Waali (Zubeida)
  • Mayi Ni Mayi (Hum Aapke Hain Kaun)
  • Mehendi Ki Raat Aayi (Models)
  • Mehendi Lagaaongi (Vibha)
  
• Sangeet: This is the night of entertainment! Full of fun performances and lots of dancing. There are plenty of ways to add entertainment to this event. You can hire performers, performances by family and friends (my favorite!), live singing, or hire a DJ. When it comes to family performances, they can get very creative – You can enact the couple’s story with music and dance, You can do a skit, You can have a theme, the possibilities are endless! You can also add a traditional touch with dhol, garba, dandiya raas and bhangra. Here are some of my favorite Sangeet Songs:
  • Kala Shah Kala (Traditional Punjabi)
  • Baari Barsi (Traditional Punjabi)
  • Eli Re Eli (Yaadein)
  • Sajan Ji Ghar Aaye (Kuch Kuch Hota Hai)
  • Pehli Pehli Baar Dekha Aisa Jalwa (Silsila)
  • Nimbooda (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam)
  • Maahi Ve (Kal Ho Na Ho)
  • Bole Chudiyan (Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gum)
  • Dholna (Shubha Mudgal)
  • Yeh Ladka Hai Allah (Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam)
• Baraat: Baraat, which is a procession of the groom and his side of the family, is an age long tradition. Dance and Music are must! Dhols are perfect way to set the tone for this event. Some appropriate Baraat songs could be:
  • Le Jaayenge Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge
  • Nach Baliye (Bunty Aur Babli)
  • Dholi Taaro Dhol Baaje (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam)
  • Aaja Nachle (Bally Sagoo)
  • Chunari Chunari (Biwi No. 1)
  • Shava Shava (Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam)
• Wedding Ceremony: The ceremony is the most traditional event in all the festivities. Hence, the music should be apt for that. The tunes of shehnai, santoor and bansuri can really set the right atmosphere for a wedding ceremony. Consider buying some Classical CDs or music online. For joota chhupai ceremony, my favorite song is “Joote Do Paise Lo” from Hum Aapke Hain Kaun.
• Reception: For the reception you have to select songs for a number of things:
  • Cocktail Hour: For cocktail hour, your guests would be mingling with each other and there will be conversations. Its better to have music which is not too distracting and is just there for background. Usually slow and romantic numbers work the best. Here is what I recommend:
    • Hey Shona (Tara Rum Pum)
    • Teri Ore (Singh is King)
    • Khuda Jaane (Bachna Ae Haseeno)
    • Saanson Se Saanse (Hum Tum)
    • Aapki Nazron Ne Instrumental
    • Chura Liya Hai (Yaadon Ki Baraat)
    • Zara Sa (Jannat)
  • Introduction of the Bridal Party: Music that introduces the bridal party, parents and bride & groom should be fast paced and upbeat that gets the audience to cheer along and lets the bridal party show their personality. Here are some suggestions:
    • Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai (Woh Lamhe)
    • Deewangi (Om Shaanti Om)
    • Mundiyan Tu Bachke Rahe (Punjabi MC)
    • Dil Dooba (Khakee)
    • Twist (Love Aaj Kal)
  • First Dance: There are so many songs to choose from for the first dance. Frankly, it depends on the couple. If they have a favorite song that has a special meaning then they can always go with that. For the first dance, couples usually choose to do a slow ballroom dance. The couple can also choose to do a fast number followed by the slow dance to surprise the audience. Here are some suggestions for First Dance:
    • Pehli Nazar Mein (Race)
    • Hey Shona (Tara Rum Pum)
    • Love Song (OST 50 First Dates)
    • Now that we found love (OST Hitch)
    • Everything I do (Bryan Adams)
    • Here are some more Classic Song ideas on The Knot (http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-music-ideas/articles/50-classic-first-dance-songs.aspx?MsdVisit=1)
    
  • Cake Cutting:
    • Come What May (Moulin Rouge)
    • The Sweetest Thing (U2)
    • Sweetest Thing (Lauryn Hill)
    • Find some more on Wedding Wire (http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-songs/cake-cutting-music)
  • While Guests are eating: For the time the guests are eating, I would again play music that is there in background and something similar to what is played during the cocktail hour. You can also choose to do a slideshow of your pictures during this time.
  • Dancing: Dancing is something that everyone looks forward to at the wedding. Hiring a DJ is a must to make sure that your guests have a great time. I would strongly suggest that the brides have a must play and do not play list for this part of the reception. In fact if you are very meticulous, you could make a spreadsheet with categories like Bollywood, Punjabi & Bhangra, Hip Hop, Reggae, 80s, Classics etc. You have to make sure that the music caters to everyone in your audience, from the young crowd to uncles and aunties. Here are some of my favorite dance numbers:
    • Where is the Party tonight (Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna)
    • Jhalak Dikhla Ja (Remix)
    • Rang Barse and Other Amitabh Bacchan Music
    • Only You (112)
    • Turn Me On (Kevin Lyttle)
    • Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Cindy Lauper)
    • Electric Slide
    • The way I are (Timbaland)
    • Mauja Hi Mauja (Jab We Met)
    • Don’t stop till you get enough and Most Michael Jackson Songs
    • Dancing Queen (ABBA)
    • Kangna (Dr. Zeus)
    • Don’t Be Shy (Rouge)
    • Glassy (Ashok Mastie)
    • Ishq (Sukhbir)
    • Billy Jean Vs Husn
    • Rail Gaddi
    • Most Jay Sean, Rishi Rich and Juggy D Music
    • Give it up to me (Sean Paul)
    • Crank That (Soulja Boy)

Feel free to add more to this list!

Congratulations on your engagement! Wondering where to start from? Here is a checklist of items which will walk you through your wedding planning process. According to 2008 Wedding Industry Facts, the average length of engagement is 16 months (Courtesy: Hudson Valley Weddings). For this checklist I am going to assume an eight month engagement and wedding planning period, since Indian engagements are usually shorter. Your first month planning will definitely be the busiest. Even though the list is top heavy, don’t be afraid as the more work you do in the beginning, the less you will have to worry later.

Week 1

1. Pick a Date/Weekend: Give yourself enough time for preparation when picking a date. Also, think about the season you would prefer to get married in.
2. Estimate your Wedding Budget: Are you planning on using your own savings for the wedding? Are the parents chipping in? Now is a good time to get to talk to your fiance and both families to get the finances together for the wedding.
3. Finalize all the events: There are many events associated with an Indian Wedding Celebration. Do you want to have an engagement party, haldi, mehendi, sangeet in addition to the wedding and reception? Now is a good time to decide.
   • Tip: Take your budget into consideration when deciding the number of events and how they will be scheduled on the weekend to accommodate your out of town guests.
4. Estimate the number of guests and start a guestlist: Once you have a set budget in mind, you should estimate how big of a wedding you want. This will help you decide the other planning aspects of your wedding.
   • Tip: Make a spreadsheet of all the guests. I would suggest using Google Docs and use the following heading items for your spreadsheet, which accounts for all the details related to your guests: Guest Family, Number of people invited, Address, Email Address, Phone Number, Events invited for, Out of Town?, Save-the-Date sent?, Invitation Sent?, Gift received, Thank You Card Sent?
5. Hire a Wedding Planner (optional): If you want a planner to assist you find you your venue and other vendors, go ahead and book your wedding planner in the first week itself. This will ensure that you get maximum benefit out of hiring a planner. Make sure you get referrals from family and friends. Yelp and Wedding Wire are great places to start looking as well. A lot of planners have negotiated (discounted) rates with vendors, which can work in your favor. On the flip side, they may steer you towards the vendors with whom they have a relationship.
   • Tip: Most planners and even other vendors offer a discount if you pay them the full amount when you sign the contract. Consider doing so only if you are sure about your planner/vendor selection.
6. Start researching Venues: Finding venues for all your wedding events, which are open for the dates you picked can be very trying. Get a head start so that you can book the wedding venue of your dreams!  Schedule appointments to go visit the selected venues and start shortlisting.
   • Tip: Find out the venue requirements and policies for lighting candles, havan rituals/ fire, alcohol, parking, vendor and event insurance, cancellation or postponing the event.

Week 2

1. Choose your bridesmaids and groomsmen (optional): If you choose to do so, select your bridesmaids and groomsmen and invite them to be in your wedding party. It is always nice to send a hand written note to invite your friend/relative to your wedding party, followed by a phone call. Once they confirm, it’s a good idea to get their measurements for their outfits.
2. Pick a theme/colors and start collecting ideas: If you choose to do so, pick your colors/theme for your wedding. Regardless of whether you are having a theme of not, start gathering ideas for your wedding. Look through magazines, wedding planning blogs, even talking to your friends and cousins who recently planned their wedding.
3. Send out Save-the-Dates: Once the guestlist is finalized, send out your Save-the-Dates. You could go with something which you Do-it-Yourself, or even go to a local paperie/paper store and get them ready to be sent out. Often times, brides go with magnets with a picture of them and their fiance, or even very creative DIY Save-the-Dates according to their theme.
4. Plan your Engagement Party (optional): If you decide to do so, start planning your engagement party. You may want to have it at your parent’s house or backyard if the weather is nice, after taking the guestlist into consideration. Think about what kind of party you want: Brunch/ Hors d’oeuvres/Dinner.

Week 3

1. Finalize the Venue: By this time you should have selected your venue. Sign the contract and make the deposits.
2. Start your Wedding Registry: Decide the stores or online website where you would like to set up your wedding registry.
   • Tip: Most people go with Macy’s, Crate and Barrell, Bed Bath, Target,  Beyond and other big department stores. Personally, I recommend online websites like myregistry.com for setting up your wedding registry, as it gives you a lot more flexibility. You can add any product online and place it on your registry. Moreover, if you are a smart shopper, you can shop for the best deal to save your guests money!
3. Wedding Website (optional): Set up your wedding website with all the details of your wedding. You can purchase a domain and server space from website hosting companies like bluehost.com, godaddy.com, 1and1.com with your and your fiance’s name, for example: nehaandkart.com. Once you have the domain, you can have a friend/cousin/web developer or even yourself create a wedding website with details such as how you met, proposal, photo gallery, wedding venue and details, link to registry, RSVP, guestbook etc. Alternatively, there are many wedding planning websites, like weddingwire.com, which already have templates for wedding websites, and all you have to do is enter the content and the website is automatically created for you. You can choose to forward it to your own domain rather than the one generated by the website company. Email the website link to your friends and relatives.

Week 4

1. Start Researching Caterers: Put a little thought into your wedding menu. Are you thinking live stations, ice sculptures, chocolate fountain, fondue, specialty appetizers and drinks or simple buffet? Browse through directories of local restaurants, which fit your requirements and schedule tastings. Get per person estimates when you go for the tasting. You might also want to talk to your caterer about drink packages. Make sure that the caterer is licensed by your venue.
2. Start Researching Event Decorator/ Florists/ Mandap: Based on your theme, ideas and colors, start thinking of decor ideas. Make a list of things you need from a decorator/florist. Are you going to have special lighting for your events? Talk to various florists for centerpieces and flowers for the ceremony and reception. Also start looking for overlays, Indian event decorations, Mandap, stage for Sangeet and Sweetheart table set up etc. Get estimates for everything.
3. Start Researching Photographers: Good photographers are often booked months in advance. Get on your game and schedule meetings to book your photographer. You should definitely look at the samples of the different photographers so that you know their style (posed, photojournalistic etc.). You should also try to negotiate a photo package for all your wedding events as you don’t want to miss the special moments. Important occasions for photos include Engagement Portraits, Engagement Party, Mehendi, Sangeet, Getting Ready Pictures, Pictures of just Bride and Groom on the Wedding Day, Pictures with the Bridal Party, Ceremony, and Reception. You might want to ask the photographer for the rates of an assistant, should you need one.
4. Start Researching Videographers: Go for a videographer who has shot Indian Weddings before because they will have a good idea about the lineup of events on your wedding day and would not miss shooting your important moments. Also you would want to discuss how the media of the video: HD/ Blue Ray DVD/ Video Tape etc, whether you want raw footage or the edited video or both etc. Decide which events you need the videographer for and whether they need to have assistants or not.
5. Start Researching DJs: Do your homework to find a good DJ. Talk to different DJs to get a vibe of what kind of music they play and how often they switch it up. If you need a projector for slideshow, cables to hook up your computer to the projector, special sound system, other tech equipment, you might want to talk to the DJ and negotiate a package for that and all your other events. Also, ask the DJ if he can provide dhol/ entertainment/ music for the Baraat. It is best to select a DJ based on a performance that you have seen.
6. Start Researching Event Rentals (depends on the venue): If you are having your wedding at a museum, hall or a special location, most probably you would need to rent out everything needed for your event, from china, glassware, tableware, tablecloths to tables and chairs. This can get pricey depending on your guestlist and you definitely need the correct estimates for the number of each item to be rented with extras to spare. Do your utmost to research the most reasonable event rental company in terms of finding the best choice of rentals, as well as a company which has relaxed policies. Sometimes your caterer can provide some good referrals for the event rental companies.
7. Pick out your invitations: Start looking at different Indian Invitations Websites to look for the perfect invitation. Also, read our article on how to select a wedding invitation for some useful tips. Once you have a winner, finalize the invitation text (include your website and registry information on the invitation), and order the invitations as it takes a couple weeks for the order to be processed and shipped. You want the invitations at least 4-5 months before the wedding, so that you have enough time to address them.

Month 2

1. Finalize your Caterer, Event Decorator/ Florist/ Mandap, Photographer, Videographer, DJ, Event Rentals: You should have these vendors finalized and locked in so that you can start planning the wedding details with them. Review the contracts thoroughly before signing. Make sure they provide a reasonable alternative person/company to fill in case they are sick or under circumstances beyond their control.
2. Book your Priest/ Pundit: Based on the kind of ceremony you want, book your priest. Its always good if the priest can speak in English and translate the ceremony for the guests. Confirm their dakshina or honorarium and also the date of the wedding.
3. Select you Cake Vendor and Cake Design: If your venue or caterer does not provide one, then start looking for a cake vendor. Regardless, you will need to pick a design for your cake.
4. Make the Arrangements for Baraat and other transportation: Reserve the horse carriage, get permits if need be for the Baraat and make arrangements for limo/transportation for the day of your wedding. You may also want to book a shuttle to transport your guests to the wedding venue if different from the accommodation.
5. Book your trip to India (optional): If you are doing your wedding trousseau shopping in India, then book your plane tickets and make appropriate arrangements to take time off of work etc.

Month 3

1. Select a vendor for your Mehendi, Hair, Make up and Arranging your Dupatta or Sari: Make sure you have make up and hair trials, before you select the vendor. Interview them to make sure that they can arrange transportation to come to where you are. Also, you might want to bring pictures and discuss with them the way you want your mehendi, make up, hair, and dupatta arranged.
2. Select Wedding Outfits for the entire bridal party and Jewelry Sets for yourself: If not going to India, find a local store or travel to a city with huge Indian diaspora in the US to purchase jewelry sets for yourself and traditional outfits for yourself, your fiance and your entire bridal party. Also start looking into suits and tuxedos for the groom and groomsmen.
3. Travel to India to purchase your Wedding Trousseau (optional): Read our article on how to shop for your wedding in India for special tips.
4. Block Hotel Rooms for out of town guests: Get a block of rooms for a discounted rate for all of your out of town guests. Update your website to include the hotel information and the code to get the discount.
5. Honeymoon Suite: Book accommodations for your wedding night.

Month 4

1. Purchase your Accessories: If not going to India, then start looking for matching purse, bindis, bangles, and footwear.
2. Start planning and book your honeymoon: Decide on a destination, and book your travel, and hotel for the honeymoon. If you are traveling internationally, make sure you have valid passports and appropriate visas/ other travel papers, vaccinations etc.
3. Finalize your Menu and Service details with your caterer
4. Finalize your Decor Arrangements

Month 5

1. Get your invitations ready and Mail them: Address all your invitations and put stamps. This process can take a good week, especially if you are still in process of compiling addresses and have a huge guestlist. Use vellum or metallic labels to print addresses. You might also want to consider calligraphy.
2. Order your wedding rings/bands
3. Start looking for favors: Read our article on suggestions for special wedding favors.
4. Childcare for your Ceremony and Reception (optional): If you have many guests with babies and small  children, you might consider making arrangements for them.

Month 6

1. Alcohol and Bar Arrangements: Order liquor/alcohol for your event if you are not getting it from the caterer or venue. You might have to get a permit to serve your own alcohol at your venue and hire bartender as well.
2. Prepare Ceremony Programs and Other Stationary: Design the proof of concept for your ceremony programs. If you are designing any other stationary, scrapbooks for display etc., you should consider doing it now.
3. Research Marriage License Requiremnts: Also schedule a blood test appointment, if required by your state.
4. Song for First Dance: Select the song for your First Dance. Consider taking dance lessons or choreographing it yourself.

Month 7

1. Purchase your Guestbook, Pen and Pen Holder
2. Purchase gifts for your bridal party and close family members
3. Contact close family and friends for Sangeet Performances (optional)
4. Get all the sari and lehenga blouses stitched: You should do this for yourself and your bridesmaids.
5. Make sure that all your outfits fit properly: You still have some time to get the outfits tailored to fit you in case there have been a size change.

Month of the Wedding!

4 Weeks Before

1. Have Sangeet Performers submit their music to you
2. Send a Song List to the DJ: Make a list of your must-play songs and do-not-play song list and send it to your DJ. You should also send all the sangeet songs and the song for your First Dance to make sure the DJ has all of your music.

3 Weeks Before

1. Call guests who have not yet RSVP’d and get the final head count
2. Determine the order of your receiving line, if you are having one
3. Prepare a timeline for all your wedding events
4. Prepare a list of assignments for your bridal party and family members

2 Weeks Before

1. Give the final head count to all your vendors
2. Give the timeline of wedding events to all the vendors, members of your bridal party and family members helping
3. Create your seating chart and make the place cards: Give your seating chart to the vendors in charge of directing guests to their tables, arranging the chairs, tables, table numbers and place cards.
4. Prepare your toasts and thanks to family and friends
5. Confirm all your final payments and have them ready to be mailed out or handed over to the vendor

Week of the Wedding!

1. Hand over all the favors, guestbook, placecards, programs etc. to the event planner or the person in charge of arranging them
2. Put together an emergency kit: This should contain Aspirin, Hairspray, Make up, Safety Pins, Mints etc.
3. Pack your suitcase for the honeymoon
4. Get pampered at a Spa
5. Enjoy your Wedding Celebrations!

After you come back from your honeymoon

1. Ensure all your vendors have been fully paid: As a courtesy you may review them on wedding planning websites.
2. Arrange for your outfits to be cleaned and preserved
3. Write all your Thank You Notes: Traditional etiquette gives you an 8 week grace period.
4. If you choose to do so: Do all the paperwork to change your name, and arranging to combine finances, insurance policies etc.

I hope this checklist is comprehensive enough and will be useful for you in planning your wedding. As usual, please comment on this entry with your suggestions or email me  at neha@marigoldevents.com.

Image Courtesy: indianweddingcard.com

Wedding Invitation selection can be a tedious job. There are many websites and a wide range of options to choose from. How do you select the perfect invitation for your wedding? Here are some key points to remember when selecting and ordering your wedding invitation:

1. Select the invitation based on your wedding colors or theme.
2. If on a budget, make sure the card is not oversize or overweight, so that you don’t have to pay a hefty postage per invitation.
3. Make sure that the return address is printed on the top left corner or the front flap of the envelope of your invitation.
4. Price out all the enclosures and extras in your invitation: RSVP card, Thank You notes, Maps etc. These extras can add a lot of additional cost to the actual cost.
5. If you are going to India for shopping, consider getting the cards mailed to an Indian address and pick them up while you are there to save on the shipping costs.
6. Always get a sample and an online proof of your invitation to check for typos.
7. Stick to a maximum of 4% of your budget for your wedding invitations, including postage and shipping costs.

Your Wedding Invitation gives the first impression of how your wedding will actually be. If you have any questions, just comment to this post or email me with any question at neha@marigoldevents.com.